August 29, 2006

And the world stopped turning

Today is the anniversary of dad’s death. 19 years. That’s a loooong time. Do I feel sad or do I miss him today? No, honestly I don’t. I’ve been thinking about him a lot today and I’m sure I’ve come off as a bit of scatterbrain, but I don’t feel sad. He will always be part of me and who I am. In a very naïve way I also think he’s watching over me. So I don’t miss him. I do wonder how things would have been if he was still alive. If things would have been different or if I would have been different. I’m pretty sure I would.

Because the world did stop turning for a moment that sunny Saturday morning when the phone woke me up. Half awake I heard mum talking on the phone saying: Are you aware of what you are telling me? I have a daughter”. The next minute she stood in my doorway wearing that hot pink velour robe she loved. “Dad’s dead. It’s just going to be you and me now.” I screamed like I never done before and probably never will. And then the world started turning again.

So here’s to you Dad! Today I think about you and remember you because you will always be a part of me!

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