Dear old mum

I love my mum dearly and she’s has always been my pillar to rest on, but lately I’ve started to wonder what the hech is wrong with her. She constantly worries about where I’m going, when I’m coming home and what I’m doing.

I went away to college 15 years ago and haven’t really lived at home since then. When I transferred back to the university here in town I lived at home for almost one term before getting my own flat and since then I’ve lived by myself. I think that by now she should be used that I don’t live at home and that I have a life of my own.

When I travel I have to call her the minute I get to the hotel and when I’m back in Sweden I have to call her. At my last trip to London my colleague from IT and I decided to share a taxi from the airport dropping of my colleague first and then me. By the time I got around calling her it was about 10:30 pm (we landed around about 9:45 pm). She did not wonder how my meeting had been etc since this had been the first time for me. Instead she wondered if the plane was late since I called so late. When I told her that my colleague from IT and I had shared a taxi she immediately asked what taxi company I was going with. I did know that I should only go with the old and trustworthy ones, didn’t I? I just said yes even though I was going with one of the new non-trustworthy companies.

She did not like that I went to London all by myself in June. I had no reasons doing anything like that. When I said I wanted to get away from Midsummer she quickly said I could spend it with her and my step-dad. But going to London. No. So telling her that I was going to meet up with Philip has never been in the picture. She would die. To meet a man you met on the Internet?! That’s dangerous! Haven’t you read about all those maniacs who kill innocent girls they meet online? Well, Philip didn’t turn out to be an axe-murderer. He turned out to be very sweet and nice man, but telling mum. No way!

Earlier this month when I spent an evening at Liseberg with my colleagues she had called three times on my mobile phone. I had of course not heard ring since we where in an amusement park playing games and going on rides. The last time she had called she had left a message and she sounded quite worried wondering where I was. I didn’t see the message until I was almost home. It was about 10:30 pm when I called and her first question was - Where have you been? Don’t you know it’s work night?! I had told her the day before that I was going to Liseberg so I could not understand why she should be so worked up. And the talk about being a work night. It was 10:30 pm and I was sound and safe at home.

Every time mum and my step-dad are in town they stay at my stepsister’s place since they has a guestroom. Carina and her husband live about 10 from me so walking back and forth is very natural. We do it all the time. It’s our neighbourhood. But when I’m over there and mum is visiting have to call the minute I get in. She will not go to sleep if I haven’t called. One night in February I actually forgot to call since I was in a hurry for meeting up with Philip. She eventually called and wondered why I hadn’t called.

This morning she called to see that I was home from Kösso. She had tried to call last night, but the phone had been busy. After trying a couple of times she had figured out that I might be talking with my cousin Maria so she had called her number and when it was busy too she understood that I was home safe and sound. I was talking to Maria and we had loads to catch up on, but I could have been talking to somebody else. Since it’s my phone I can stay on as long as I feel and talking to whoever I feel like.

I know mum does this because she cares about me, but lately it have started to become too much. I’m 34 years old and I do have a life of my own. Her worrying like that make me think that I have to call her every time I leave the house so she won't worry. Sometimes I just don’t remember. I hate to admit it, but this past week has been very so peaceful and quite since mum and my step dad have been travelling in Germany, Austria and Switzerland. I would like to say something, but I know if I do I’m going to get the whole thing about being her only daughter and then I’ll end up feeling guilty. Ugh! It’s just a no win situation.