Iron Lady going grey

At work on Monday we started the implementation phase of the new Internet booking dialogue. Three days down the line all I can say is that I will probably go grey before this project is over. To start with, we are implementing a system that hasn’t been thought through from start to finish. Already now we are creating workarounds to get things working properly. All through the project people have heard about how bad the system is, so of course they are upset and annoyed. And guess who has to deal with all that? Me, of course, and I haven’t even been close to seeing the spec. But I work with the Internet… OK, I’m the Internet Manager so I do understand, but sometimes one just have to realise this is what we are getting lets do the best of the situation. Another manager and I are more or less bending over backwards to help and solve all problems, but no matter what we do people don’t like it. Also if we fix one problem another one occur because of what we just did. It is a loser system, but what else is there to do?

Since I’ve only been on the job for four months (it feels soooo much longer) I don’t know where to go every time and who to ask when it comes to finding solutions. Quite naturally in my opinion, I ask my boss. He’s been in the company for there three years and knows whom I should ask and if I should go higher up. But all he says is "I don’t know. I don’t understand what your mean". I would understand if he was busy, but his workload has decreased a lot since I arrived. Poor leadership at at it best... Or is it worse?!

So I just keeping going and going. Pulling every thread there is, hoping that things will work out. I’m aware of that I can come off as quite cocky wanting decisions and things to happen now. Not tomorrow or next week. Now! Especially in this project where everything has to be done by October 31. To my surprise I get called Iron Lady when I act like this. I’ve been called both Iron Lady and Ice Queen before in other jobs, but still I feel a bit hurt and wonder what the hech I’m doing wrong. If I were a man nobody would have comment on me being though and wanting actions. That’s the way a man should be. So how come when a woman act like a man she gets called names? What’s so scary? All my working life I’ve worked in very male dominated areas, something one has to take when working with computer and Internet, so of course I have adapted a few male traits. But still I’m a woman and always will. I learned a long time not to take things personal, but it’s hard not to when I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Or if I am doing something wrong. But I’m very stubborn and over the years I’ve also learnt how to stand strong and never give up, so I won’t quit this time either. I am Superwoman after all...