Movie night

Today's been a pretty good day. Went through all my sites and found a couple more ads I’ll reply on. Not any good jobs though. Just jobs that I know I can do, but then when the HR person reads my application I still end up in the no thank you–pile. Found an ad that really got me excited. The contact person was my contact at Dfind so I called her immediately. Turned out the ad was for the job I didn’t get at Nobel Biocare. She told me I had come in as second and that they had picked a guy. But somehow they still wanted have another look around. I think that sound a bit weird. Why on earth would they pick a person for the job, but at same time have another ad out? What are they out to get?

Got an email from Jessica. I guess she was trying to comfort me with saying that working at Nobel Biocare is pure hell. It’s like selling your body and soul to the devil. Hrm, where have I heard that before? That’s like working at Manutan… We are one big happy European family and we all work our arses off… *LOL*

Gave up looking for more ads about 4 o’clock and went and rented some DVDs. I’m kind out of the loop when it comes to movies nowadays. Gone are the days when we had our own library at BingoLotto… Anyhow, I got The Ladykillers with Tom Hanks, Lost in translation with Bill Murray and Scarlet Johansson and finally Crash which won several Oscars this year.

The Ladykillers was a typical movie from the Cohen Brothers. You smile, nod and know that the end is going to be a bit unusual, but very good. Lost in translation was very good also. I sort of recognized the feeling of being alone in a big hotel. And to be different or the odd person out. God, I felt different just being in France. Being in Tokyo must be very, very different. Crash left me with an uneasy feeling. Just like Monster’s Ball did. But it was a very good movie. It made you think. Unspoken racism is everywhere and you do judge someone just on where they come from or what culture they belong to. I know I do and that’s what is so scary. We do those things without even thinking about it. Scary!

Back to the gym

Back to the gym today. I hadn't been there in a week, so I felt kind of sluggish. Did only 10 min of running on the treadmill, but everything counts. Did 40 min of weights and 25 min on the exercise bike as well.

Went to the supermarket afterwards and did my weekly shopping. It's just me and the old folks during the days... And maybe some students. But there are not any long queues at least.

For dinner I made another batch of creamy mushroom risotto. Feeling that rich texture of cheese and rice together is so comforting. Nigella Lawson was right when she said that risotto is comfort food. Resisted the urge to open up a bottle of wine. Instead I used some vermouth for the risotto. Couldn't help thinking about my old comrade in arms Marie-Aurore when I brought out the bottle. It had to be a French woman who thought me to drink vermouth and martinis... By the way, there is an interview with her in the March-April issue of E-commerce & VAB. You go girlfriend!

Indian for lunch

Networking class at TRR today. Made me feel even more useless. I don't have a network. At least not here in Sweden. Working for BingoLotto for more than 6 years didn't give me any contacts at all since everything was done in-house. After only 13 months at WITRE I got a bunch of contacts, mostly French though so they aren't worth that much right now.

Had lunch at Mother India around the corner from TRR. Totally OK for being a lunch special. I've heard a lot of raving reviews about the food though, but that's probably when you order from the menu during the evenings. Oh well, since we don't have that many Indian restaurants in town, you have to take what you can. Make me long for a real Indian curry in London. Those guys know how to do it.

Came in second for the job at Nobel Biocare, which made me very upset and disappointed. When will it be my turn? When I'm 64?! I've been out of work for three months now and I hate every minute of it. I know I'm good at what I do. And there is nothing wrong with my experience. I guess the problem is that E-business and Internet marketing aren't that big in Sweden yet. I just have to wait and see or give up and go abroad.

I was still at TRR when I found out so I couldn't do anything than just smile and say goodbye, but I felt so numbed. Went and bought some candy and pistachio buns to neutralize the pain, but it didn't work. Food has never done that to me. I should know that by now...

I cried my eyes out when got home, which felt very good, but still... Why, why can't I get a job?! What's wrong with me? I also feel ashamed. A ashamed for not having landed a job in three months. I'm ashamed for being one of many (way too many here in Sweden) that don't do anything during the days. I hate to tell people that I'm unemployed. I just feel like such a loser.

The very first post

A friend of mine (you know who you are) told me to start a blog so here I am. My first post in my very own blog...