Pat on the back

I went to the gym today. Looking in the calendar I haven’t been there since early March and now it is mid April, so I really deserve a pat on the back. On top of that I left work at 4:30 pm something that haven’t happened in the last month or so either.

Can’t say I did a super workout, but it’s way better than not going at all. I spent 30 minutes on the treadmill walking some, running some and walking some. I’ve real wanted to go out running now when the weather is so nice and I did try on Saturday, but ended sounding like an old kettle wheezing. Spring weather means pollen and pollen makes my throat and nose itch and I start wheezing. It comes like a total surprise to me every year, even though I really should know better by now. Lets just hope that the air have cleared some in three weeks when I will do the annual 5K women’s spring race. I really don’t expect to run this year since I’m very far from being fit right now, but at least I’ll participate and the money goes to a good cause.

I stepped on the scale at the gym as well and to my surprise I hadn’t gained a gram since the last time I weighed myself. I used to say that what you weigh is just a number. It’s how you feel about yourself that matters, so in reality I should not be happy since my body has really changed the couple of months. I’m not toned at all and I just feel quite doughy. But instead I’m happy that I haven’t gained. Oh, those little mind games the scales plays on you. I hate them so very much.

I know I’m very, very much skating on thin ice now and should start caring about myself, my body and what I eat. Instead I moan and groan about it for a while like most women out there and I try for a while before I fall off the wagon. Again. Sort of pathetic really. Where did my willpower go? Where did my motivation go? Why is food my best friend in the world?