With with both yesterday and today's morning out of the office I returned to tons of emails and long lists of things to do. Quite normal I would say. Late in the afternoon things were really piling up and when I suddenly had about five fires to put out I immediately wanted to run away. My first instinct was just to get up and leave. I do not want to deal with this. But as the good girl of course I stayed. Because really what would people had said if I left...
I could then feel how all of my body was gearing up for a fight. My adrenaline was pumping and I could feel my heart beating faster. As people came into my office I could feel that all I wanted to do was to attack and if there was just a hint of something negative or criticism I was ready to defend myself.
When it was time to leave for the gym I didn't go. Instead I worked until late and fixed that, and that, and that, and that... Now finally home I can still feel how worked up I am and I hate the feeling very much. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! It also makes me feel both scared and angry. I sooo just don't want to go down this road again...
No comments:
Post a Comment