Yesterday I tried on some dresses I haven't been able to wear in years and they fit. Whoo hoo! Some of the dresses were from special occasions such a first date, a wedding and a dinner thing at work. All occasions where I have considered myself as slim, or at least at normal weight and being OK with my body. Being 5'8 and loving food and wine too much means I have given up the idea of size 0. It has not even crossed my mind to be honest. All I want to be is a healthy (and somewhat slim) good looking woman. Something we all want to be, right?!
Posting my victory on Twitter a friend reply with "Way to go!" She knows about how hard I tried this last year to lose weight and get back to healthy eating and working out. How I quite easily lost 10 kilos from August to December, and that I've been stuck since then. That I've lost and gained the same 1-3 kilos over and over again. Somehow through the spring (not sure how) I've continued with my healthier eating and working out as much as possible. To my big surprise my body has changed despite my weight not changing, which trying on those dresses yesterday yet again showed. But instead of saying thank you to my friend’s reply on Twitter I moaned about the scale not moving. Her reply was very firm – It's what you see that counts, not what it says on a fecking scale.
Right after that I stumbled over an article called Your Weight Is Not Your Worth, and then it really hit me. My dear friend was totally right. My weight is just a number and I'm not any less of woman because of what it says on the scale. I need to make peace with body (again) and celebrate what it can do instead of how it appears.
So my thighs and calves are big, but hey 2-3 times a week they make me run/jog 4-5K. That's pretty marvellous in my opinion. So my stomach isn't flat and my upper arms aren't especially toned, but each day my arms help me pick up and carry things. My love-handles show me I live in a society where food can be found in abundance and (most) people go to bed with a full stomach.
My long eyelashes, my pretty smile (that I don't show often enough) and the big chest I've been blessed with, I love you. (And I know other people who do too...) You are all part of me along with those big thighs, calves, love-handles and flabby upper arms. You are my body and you're pretty darn amazing. If I said something else I would be very stupid.
Love your body.